|This work is licensed under a
|The Order of the Pineapple
aka DisOrder of the Pineapple
begun by Earth Chapter One of the
in 1982 CE
|The Order of the Pineapple was first presented on Monday, 18 January 1982, or 18
Chaos 3148. Actually, a pineapple was handed by the members of the original Ĕk-sĕn-
trĭks Cluborguild to the group's co-founder and vice president known as Alien. The
founding president was known as Zeus.
"The (Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild) was accepted by the Student Government Association of a
small college in California on Monday, 16 November 1981 (Setting Orange, 28 Aftermath
3147). The founders of this chapter were known by their member names of Zeus* (Founding
President) and Alien (Co-Founding Vice President). The school is listed in notes as Mount
Santa Juanita College (nicknamed ‘Mount Mickey Mouse’), but as no record of any such
institution has been found, that’s probably not its real name. But the college is, or at least
"By reliable accounts, Alien was president of the college’s Student Government Association,
not surprisingly under a name different than ‘Alien.’ Zeus, under a different name, was
parliamentarian, which was rather strange considering Zeus was about as unparliamentary
as one could imagine.
"On one day in October or November of 1981, the two held a secret discussion while alone
in the student government office. During that clandestine conference, they decided to form a
new and very different group at the college. Its purpose as later stated in its constitution was
"the participatorial study of comedic attitudes and eccentric tendencies"; But its true original
purpose was never revealed.
"The Founders couldn’t decide on whether to call it a club or guild. They finally agreed to
call it both, and the Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild was conceived. (Yes, it was originally called
‘Cluborguild,’ not ‘CluborGuild.’"
While it is unknown specifically why Alien was recognized, Alien was the co-founding
vice president of the Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild which was honored for the 1981-1982
school year as Most Active New Club on Campus. In addition to being student
government president and a State Board member of California Community College
Student Government Association, Alien was a comedic author and actor. Alien and
Zeus came up with the idea of running a friend for Homecoming Queen with a bag over
her head. Alien had also been brought up on formal charges by the college (largely for
investigations of the administration) which had been dropped by the time the pineapple
The Order of the Pineapple has been awarded to some very worthy people for some very worthy
reasons. But that doesn't include me.
Zeus and I conceived the Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild and wrote the group's constitution in 1981, yes. But
the meetings were originally scheduled when I had a class or student government work or some such,
and I couldn't go. I did nothing with the club. One day I finally could make a meeting, and was amazed
to see Zeus had assembled a sizable bunch of wacky, creative, fun people. I got very active later on,
but Zeus got the guild going.
The pineapple was given to me by the club on 18 January 1982, Robert Anton Wilson's 50th birthday,
as a joke. Sorry to disappoint you, but I think the pineapple had nothing to do with an award. I was,
however, the one who decided to give a pineapple to someone the next year on the same date as a
tongue-in-cheek award. I also started the tradition of eating pineapple on Pat Pineapple Day, and have
eaten it every January 18 since 1983. So while I got the "Pat Pineapple Award" without deserving it, I did
transform a joke gift into The Order of The Pineapple, so essentially created the Order.
-- Alien, OP 1982 (response made 17 August 2013)
|The image of Pat Pineapple in the background is by
Toby Bruno and used with permission. We released
the white textured wallpaper into the public domain.